“The legacy you leave is the life you lead.” -- Unknown

As spouses and survivors of those who have served and defended our freedoms and our country, we play a vital role. We have very interesting and unique stories to tell.

Sharing your legacy – telling your story – will contribute to a more realistic narrative about life in the military and what it means to be a military spouse. It will better describe the roles we as military spouses and survivors have played. We have demonstrated leadership, strength, flexibility, dependability, and determination.

Over the years, whether our spouse was on active duty or retired, we have worked alongside, in front, and behind. We are often recognized as the unsung heroes of the military establishment.

Sharing Your Story

How do you begin to write about your legacy? First, decide how you want to tell your story: It can be an essay, a video, a recording, a letter, a blog, or a combination of different methods.

Next, decide on your audience: Family? Friends? Colleagues? Community? Of course, you can always produce several versions, depending on your audience and method.

Our stories – our legacy – can demonstrate the unique experiences and challenges we faced when married to a servicemember. These stories provide a personal perspective on military life as we know it. They showcase the many challenges of frequent moves, deployments, and how it all can affect our families, especially our children.

[SURVIVING SPOUSE CORNER: Resources for Caregivers]

When writing your story, share the experiences that will educate your readers and create understanding about the different challenges you encountered. Share lessons learned along with any failures ... and successes! Also share stories about special relationships, the numerous moves and major choices you made. Your stories will be celebrated, cherished, and appreciated by your family, friends, and colleagues.

Many stories will turn out to be shared experiences. I travel a lot and talk to MOAA chapters and other military-associated groups where I always tell my story. As I talk about the frequent moves, my constant job changes, making furniture fit, the quarters assigned, and the undesirable locations, I always see a lot of heads nodding “Yes, I know!” right along with me.

And then I hear from other military spouses and survivors – different stories, unique experiences, and outcomes with lessons to be learned.

[SURVIVING SPOUSE CORNER: What It Means When a Star Is Gold]

During the military life we have shared with our spouses, we have demonstrated dedication, unwavering support, resilience, sacrifice, solidarity, and courage through many deployments and relocations. Make your story real: Write about what happened and when, and how your feelings are associated with specific events and milestones. Your story has the power to inspire, connect, and endure.

For example, through my talks and shared memories of my husband, Larry, and my son, Casey, I talk about my struggles and small victories, and I find others who can share and relate with my experiences. People often tell me that they remember my story long after I shared it.

Writing a legacy as a military spouse or survivor involves meaningful reflection about your experiences, values, and contributions. Our stories matter, and they need to be told. As Maya Angelou said, “Your legacy is every life you have touched.”

Start writing your story today!