Whether your Valentine’s Day was marked with sweetness, sadness, or something else entirely, it’s worth asking: How is your “every day”?

Do you feel aligned with what matters most to you? Do you sense you have more to give, or that something feels off?

As I was thinking about this theme of falling back in love with your life — with a nod to my upcoming March workshop, Dare to Dream: Live the Life You Love — I happened to listen to Bishop Robert Barron’s Feb. 6 homily. He said, “If you want to be happy, stop worrying about being happy and get on with becoming fulfilled.”

He also referenced psychologist Dr. Richard Issel’s insight that happiness emerges from fulfillment — not the other way around. That landed. It echoed what many of us intuitively know.

What struck me even more was the homily’s focus on orienting your life outward. We’re most unhappy when we turn inward and fixate on ourselves — and most fulfilled when we “move out toward others.” Not through grand gestures, but through everyday reliability, generosity, and presence. In plain terms: We grow when we contribute.

For many in the uniformed services community, this resonates deeply. Service is woven into who we are. It gives direction, identity, and meaning. When we transition out of uniform, life can feel “off” if we haven’t found new ways to contribute or connect. When purpose is missing, fulfillment is missing — and without fulfillment, happiness simply can’t take root.

So how do you stop chasing happiness and start building fulfillment? Consider these simple shifts:

• Name your “why.” What do you want your life to stand for in this season?
• Audit your energy. Do more of what gives life; limit what drains it.
• Take one meaningful step. Just one.
• Serve beyond yourself. Even small acts of service restore purpose.
• Practice and protect the basics. Sleep, movement, nourishment, light, quiet.

If you're in a good place right now, take a moment to understand why so you can sustain it. If you’re not, you're not failing — you’re human. Fulfillment grows from honest, consistent choices — not perfection.

And here’s an important point: Dare to Dream does involve introspection, but not for the sake of self-focus. The work is intentional — you explore your strengths, values, and “why” so you can lead, serve, and contribute with greater clarity and impact. Understanding yourself isn’t the destination; it’s the foundation that enables you to live out your purpose in meaningful ways.

If you’re looking for practical tools and a fresh way to think about what comes next, join me March 3, 10, 17, and 24 for MOAA’s Dare to Dream: Live the Life You Love — a four-week workshop focused on purpose, direction, and what matters most in your next chapter. 

When you invest in the thought work and reflection, you begin to understand what fulfillment looks like uniquely for you.

As I write this, my dad is nearing the end of his life in hospice at home, and my mom — his caregiver for more than a decade — is walking him through this final chapter with a tenderness shaped by more than 61 years of marriage. This Valentine’s Day was their last together. He couldn’t sweep her off her feet, but with every gentle word and loving gaze, he made it clear she is deeply loved.

What I’m witnessing is love in its truest form — messy, raw, tearful, and profoundly beautiful — and moments like these remind me that our “why” is rarely complicated. It’s found in the people we love and the ways we serve. That’s where fulfillment lives — and where happiness quietly follows.