Engaging the Enemy
Retired Navy Cmdr. Barry Coombs lives in St. Augustine, Fla., with his wife, Terri, and yellow Labrador, Breez. He’s now taking a shot at wine sales instead of imaginary planes.

In the late 1970s, I was lucky to be selected to join the commissioning crew of a brand-new, top-of-the line Navy frigate, the USS Samuel Eliot Morison (FFG-13). I was a lieutenant fresh out of department head school and was ready to challenge the world.

As the Perry Class was then new to the Navy, every day we learned more about the ship’s idiosyncrasies. Instead of steam propulsion, the Morison was powered by two gas turbine engines— the same engines used in the Air Force’s C-5 Galaxy, but modified for nautical use. Gone were the days when the engineers had to come in a day or two earlier than the rest of the crew to fire up the boilers and prepare to get under way. Now we were ready to go with a turn of the key a mere 30 minutes before the ship sailed.

The Morison also was equipped with many labor-saving devices that allowed us to operate with minimum staff. All the crew compartments had modularized privacy bunks and lounges with closed-circuit TV. No more sleeping three to four high in fold-up bunks!

The Morison was a true state-of-the-art warship, and the Navy was keen to show off the new Perry Class at every opportunity. We soon found ourselves scheduled for a public relations cruise hosting about 50 veterans of World War II destroyers. The plan was to demonstrate this sexy new ship in every way we could.

One of the events the executive officer (XO) planned was a display of the MK75/76MM rapid-fire cannon in high rate-of-fire mode (about 70 rounds per minute). The MK75 was, in many ways, a new weapon for the Navy. It was an Italian-designed gun built in the United States with metric measurements, and, as with anything new, there were many problems when it first was introduced.

At the time of the public relations cruise, we were experiencing some of those growing pains, and because I was the combat systems officer, I was responsible for the ship’s weapon and sensor systems, so I tried to talk the xo out of the shoot to prevent possible embarrassment. Great things were expected of the Morison; how would it look if the new Navy frigate’s weapons didn’t work properly? 

Despite my forewarning, the CO and XO decided to take the risk and go ahead with the demonstration. It was supposed to be quite a show. For entertainment, the XO had developed an elaborate script that described an imaginary incoming aircraft we would take out with five rounds in full automatic.

Using the ship’s announcing system to broadcast his script, the XO set the scene and built the drama surrounding this imaginary enemy plane. Finally, the gun was assigned to the fictional incoming target, and he gave the order to engage.

To my chagrin, as the fire button was pressed, only one round got out before the gun jammed. Cool as a cucumber, without missing a beat, the xo announced to our guests, “How about that folks—we got ’em with the first round!”