SINCE THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, this nation's women have sent their husbands and sons into battle. During World War I, however, women became part of the military themselves, filling clerical jobs on the home front so more men would be available for combat. When World War II broke out, organizations such as the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps and the U.S. Navy Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service were formed, and young women filled a broadening spectrum of military duties, finding themselves closer to enemy lines than ever before. And though their contributions and service were undeniable, these women and those who soon followed were expected to cut their military careers short when they wanted to start a family.

Not surprisingly, many military women chose - or were forced - to quit, and the few who rose through the ranks did so without children in tow. In May 1975, that changed. DoD was facing the end of the draft and seeking ways to maintain manpower. Defense leaders ordered a policy reversal that lifted the involuntary discharge for pregnancy. For the first time in American history, mothers were allowed to continue pursuing their military ambitions.

Although the relationship between a woman's family roles and her ability to serve effectively continues to be controversial in some realms, women and mothers in today's active duty military have reached the ranks of generals and admirals and have proven themselves successful in professions and combat situations never before thought possible. Here are the stories of some of today's and yesterday's soldiers and mothers.

Maj. Gloria Vinskey, USAR-Ret., was one of the first women to elect to stay on active duty after becoming pregnant with her daughter, Heather, in 1974. It was in 1975 when DoD officially reversed its policy and allowed women to elect discharge or remaining on active duty upon becoming pregnant or adopting children. Then-22-year-old Vinskey was right on the edge.

"I had heard that you couldn't stay in, but that that might change. I happened to get pregnant and decided to stay [on] active duty," says Vinskey, now 53. "I worked as a translator at the time, and the assignment was conducive because it didn't have a lot of field duty."

But that wasn't the case when Vinskey's son, Justin, was born in 1977. Not only was she given two fewer weeks of maternity leave the second time around, but she also remembers having lots of field duty and that the Army's attitude toward motherhood had hardened somewhat. "It was expected that it wouldn't slow you down," she says. "[As is the case for] all working women, there are difficulties, but with the military you are on call 24/7, which is really difficult unless you have prearrangements and a really understanding babysitter."

Additionally, she says, the military lifestyle had its ups and downs for her children. Being uprooted was tough, she recalls. But difficulties aside, Vinskey says her decision to remain on active duty had its rewards.

"[My children] were proud of what I did and were always involved in military events," she says. "It was a real experience, and it benefited everyone. I got the best of both worlds - I had a real family life, and the Army got to keep a trained soldier. Bottom line: I felt like I was still contributing."

Lt. Cmdr. Kathryn Dunbar, USCG, has served in the Coast Guard since 1992 and is mother to 33-month-old Grace and 11-month-old Ella. Dunbar currently is stationed at Coast Guard Head-quarters in Washington, D.C., and serves as a deck watch officer. Although her current duties are more deskbound, Dunbar has served on an afloat tour and has been in command of a Coast Guard vessel.

Knowing she and her husband (also an active duty Coast Guard officer) wanted a family, Dunbar planned her first pregnancy around her afloat tours and, in October 2003, gave birth to her daughter Grace. Facing her new role as a parent, she took advantage of the Coast Guard's Care for Newborn Children program, which allows members of the Coast Guard to take up to two years off in the event of the birth or adoption of a child. Once the two years are up, the member is brought back on active duty at the same rank he or she was before leaving. It's a one-time opportunity available to both men and women but, according to Dunbar, might not always be the best career move.

"Traditionally, people don't do as well career-wise after they come back," explains Dunbar. "When you go before the promotion board they want to know why there's a two-year gap. There are still some in the military who think 'If we wanted you to have children, we would have issued them,' but that's changing."

In June 2005, Dunbar gave birth to her second daughter, Ella. After her maternity leave this time, however, Dunbar dove back into her full-time role in the Coast Guard - but with some changes. Both girls are in the nursery facility in the same building as Dunbar, and she describes her current position as much more flexible than before she became a mother. Much of that, she says, is attributable to her current supervisor.

"My boss is really understanding," she explains. "He has four kids of his own, so he knows how hard it can be. He's allowed me to work from home if I need to - I'm very lucky."
As for her future in the Coast Guard, Dunbar says she plans to stay in until her 20-year retirement and then spend time at home and be available for her girls.

"I've already had such a great Coast Guard experience," says Dunbar. "I've commanded a ship, but now motherhood is a priority. I'll be retired when Grace is in middle school, which, I gather from friends, is the more important time to be home."

Lt. Cmdr. Heidi Kraft, USN-Ret., was an active duty clinical psychologist in the Navy when she was deployed to Iraq in February 2004 for nearly eight months. At the time, her twins, Brian and Megan, were only 15 months old.

"I knew it was possible, of course," says Kraft of being sent into a combat-zone. "Like all Navy doctors, I wore the uniform with the knowledge I would have to do what I was trained for."

But even knowing it was a possibility didn't diminish the shock and flurry of activity that occurred when she received 11 days' notice on her orders.

"The day I received my orders, my parents had been visiting us in Jacksonville, [Fla.], and I came home early. My mom was there at the house, and I dropped to my knees and hugged my little girl and started crying and told my mom 'I'm going to Iraq.' "

Later that day she told her husband, who recently had separated from the Marine Corps, of her impending departure. Much to her relief he immediately understood what was needed of him and told her, "Well, the [military] needs you right now."

"That is not the typical response one would expect," admits Kraft. "But he was very supportive, which made me feel so much better."

In addition to her husband's can-do attitude, Kraft's parents, in what she describes as an "utter act of selflessness," packed up their belongings and moved in with her husband to help him care for Brian and Megan for eight months. "It made me feel so much better knowing my kids were surrounded by people who loved them," Kraft says.

But her worries weren't over. During Kraft's first week in Iraq, her unit, which was thought to be located in a "safe" area, was attacked. Several people were injured, and several more died. After hours of working nonstop in the aftermath, Kraft recalls going to her tent, lying on her cot, and crying.

"I could hear the gunfire, and I was scared I wouldn't see my children again."

That's when she decided to temporarily step out of her role as a mother. She put Brian's and Megan's pictures away and did what she could to put them out of her consciousness.

"I stopped being a mom so I could be functional and take care of my patients, who were other people's kids," explains Kraft. "I couldn't let myself feel that kind of fear while I was over there."

But she did allow herself brief windows of time to look at their pictures and watch the DVDs her husband sent to her. She'd watch for a little while, she says, and then be done. "It was so great that I still got to see the little things they'd do. It was so weird watching them do little stuff like climb up on the couch."

After eight months of being in a combat-riddled environment and having suppressed all her maternal feelings, Kraft returned to her husband and children in September 2004. Although she was overjoyed to see her children again, she says that regaining her mom momentum was an unexpectedly lengthy process.

"I felt disconnected for several months, and it took a while to reconnect," says Kraft. "That was the hardest part, because I expected it to come back right away. And I'm a psychologist - I should know better!"

Kraft decided to retire from the Navy in March 2005. She knew that she was going to have to go back to Iraq again if she stayed in and says that after having been there once, she couldn't take the chance. Her obligation was up, and she was out.

"I don't regret one moment of my time with the Navy. [Serving in] Iraq was the proudest thing I've done. As difficult as it was, I wouldn't change it," she says. "I've held the hands of heroes as they were dying. I appreciate life and know that's made me a better mother. Now the little things don't bother me at all, and I don't find myself taking things for granted."

Lt. Veronica Saffo, ARNG, of the Vermont National Guard, also knows the hardship of being deployed overseas away from her children. In February 2003, the then-34-year-old public affairs officer and mother of three boys (now ages 13, 10, and 8) left for Kosovo for eight months to serve as the American public affairs liaison for NATO. Although she knew the opportunity was exciting and fit well with her education and professional experience, Saffo was sadly aware of the family experiences she would be missing at home.

"Honestly, my first thought was 'What are the boys going to do without me?'," recalls Saffo. "I helped them get dressed every morning and told them a story every night. And although these are all things their father is capable of, it still somehow falls to the mother."

So Saffo and her family stayed in touch as much as possible during her deployment. By using phone cards, the Internet, and the postal system, Saffo spoke to her children twice a week and exchanged several e-mails. But still, she says, it wasn't quite the same.

"It just wasn't enough for everyone," she says. "No package or phone call can replace a good-night kiss."

In addition to keeping constant communication, Saffo says she worked around the clock and refocused her energies on her assignment, trying not to dwell on what she was missing. After all, she says, she knew when she signed up for the National Guard in 1999 that she was serving her country and that she needed to make that her priority.

"We volunteer to serve, so you have to remind yourself that you're there to make the world a better place for your children when they grow up," she says.

Although she says her children initially might have had a difficult time understanding why she had to go, she knows now that her sons appreciate her commitment to the service and like that their family is a little different and has a larger world perspective than other families around them.

"Recently I overhead one of my sons say that we have a really cool family - I loved hearing that," she says.

Maj. Chrystal Henderson, USAF, a family physician and mother of three, didn't exactly spend the 2003 holiday season the way she had envisioned. Instead of spending time at home with her children and husband of one year, this medical officer found herself deployed to Kyrgyzstan for 120 days, beginning in early November.

"It wasn't exactly good timing," says Henderson. "Not only did I miss Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I [also] missed two birthdays and my one-year anniversary. But I had a job to do and that was it - I had to go."

Before her departure, she remembers stocking her house with food and supplies for her husband to have at hand. Even so, she knew it would still be up to him to pull off all the day-to-day activities, such as cooking; cleaning; and making sure 16-year-old Christopher, 9-year-old Ivey, and 6-year-old King got to school and did their homework.

"I knew he'd do a great job, but it was nice that we had friends who helped out, too," recalls Henderson.

Once she arrived in Kyrgyzstan, she stayed in touch with her family daily using e-mail and phone cards, which she says made a big difference. Her husband even found a way to send roses to her on their anniversary and Valentine's Day. But still, she says, being away was difficult.

"It's hard not sleeping in your own bed and not seeing your family," she says. "When you get used to seeing them regularly it's hard not to have that."

And though her family missed her, too, Henderson says her children rose to the occasion and did really well during her time away.

"We talked about it a lot before I left, so they knew what was coming," she says. She also says that her service in the military has had an overall positive effect on her children, which makes them resilient to change.

"There's a standard of doing the best you can do. They recognize you reap benefits from hard work," she says. "They understand respect and are well-mannered children because of the people they see me work with. That's all they know."

And, she says, the military also has benefited from having mothers within its ranks. "There are so many more active duty women now. It's still male-dominated, but [the military] is much more tolerant of females now. They recognize we are mothers, and I'm sure that's an improvement over the past 20 years." ?