>Lingerie: a primer
>Popular types of lingerie
>Preparation is key
>Ready to shop
>A Brief Word on Men’s Fashion

Printable version

Email article

Teddies and baby dolls aren’t just for kids anymore—learn how to pick out the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for your significant other.

Lori Miller of Raleigh, N.C., still laughs when she recalls the first time her husband, Ken, bought her lingerie. “He got me some sexy pajamas for Valentine’s Day, but they were too small,” she says. “Still, he insisted I model them for him, which was kind of embarrassing because the shorties gave me a wedgie and the strappy tank top looked like it had been painted on. I appreciated the thought, but I decided after that incident that I would buy my lingerie myself.”

Ken can’t be faulted for making such an egregious error. Truth be told, most men know absolutely nothing about lingerie except that it’s sexy and fun and we really want our wives and girlfriends to wear it. Other than that, we’re pretty clueless.

Because of our ignorance, buying lingerie for Valentine’s Day can be fraught with peril. Is the piece we’re eyeing the right size? The right style? The right fabric? The questions seem endless. But never fear—we’ve gathered some expert advice to make the lingerie-buying experience a little less terrifying.

Lingerie: a primer

One of the biggest reasons lingerie buying can be so traumatic is because most men don’t know a teddy from Ted Williams. We walk into a store and find ourselves reeling from the different types and styles of lingerie. A little help, please?

“Chemises are short nightgowns made out of fairly light material, sort of like little sundresses,” explains Jezzica Lindkrantz, a stylist with Frederick’s of Hollywood, one of the world’s foremost purveyors of all things frilly and fun.

“A baby doll is a really short nightgown that hits at the top of the hip. It usually ties or clasps at the bust, and the rest of the fabric kind of floats away from the body. Baby dolls are usually sold with a panty-type bottom.

“A teddy is somewhat like a one-piece bathing suit. It’s almost a combination of underwear and a tank top,” Lindkrantz says.

Other popular types of lingerie include:

• Bustiers. These are form-fitting tops that usually fasten in the back and help accentuate the bust. Many bustiers have straps at the bottom that attach to stockings or garters.
   
• Corsets. Think of these as tighter, stronger bustiers. “A corset has boning that goes over the bodice and is laced or hooked in the back,” explains Lindkrantz. “It can have an underwire cup or be kind of flat.” Corsets traditionally are tightly cinched at the waist to give the wearer a noticeable hourglass figure, but they also can be laced loosely and worn as a regular top.
   
• Kimonos. These robes commonly are worn over more revealing types of lingerie. “The purpose is to make the woman feel comfortable,” a helpful lingerie salesperson informed me. “If she’s walking around in just a slip, for example, she would want something to cover her.”
   
• Thongs. Anyone who has watched a Christina Aguilera video knows what a thong is. But do you know the difference between a thong and a G-string? We didn’t think so.
  “A thong has a little more fabric going up the back,” explains Lindkrantz. “A G-string, like its name, has just a string. There is definitely a difference between the two.”
   
• Boy shorts. These are tiny shorts that women wear as underwear. “They are lacy and cute and very popular with our customers,” says Lindkrantz. “Men find them very sexy.”

Preparation is key

Knowing the different types of lingerie is one thing; but equally important is knowing what type your significant other prefers. This might require a reconnaissance mission to her underwear drawer and closet. Take note of the types of lingerie she has purchased for herself, as well as their colors and fabrics. This information will give you a good idea of what to focus on when you go shopping, as well as what to avoid. If your sweetie doesn’t own any thongs, for example, it probably means she doesn’t like that particular style of underwear. Always remember: Buying lingerie is no time to be wildly experimental. It’s always better to stick with the tried and true.

“One common mistake men make is buying items that they want to see on their girlfriends or wives instead of what she would feel most comfortable in,” says Lindkrantz. “The big question is: What items would best reflect her personal style?”

It’s also important to know what body parts your wife or girlfriend really likes on herself or is self-conscious about, adds Shelia Hostler, manager of Adam & Eve Retail in Raleigh, N.C. “We know that you love her body just the way it is, but she may hate her butt or her stomach,” Hostler says. “It helps if you can tell the sales associate what areas she would want to emphasize or de-emphasize. With that information, we should be able to help you pick out the ideal outfit.”

Yet another important detail is size—particularly bra size, panty size, stocking size (this is usually determined by height and weight, so jot that down, too), pants size, and dress size. This information also can be obtained by studying the clothing in your sweetheart’s underwear drawer and closet. It doesn’t matter that these numbers mean nothing to you, says Lindkrantz—they can be extremely useful to the sales associate helping you select lingerie that will fit your significant other perfectly.

Ready to shop

Following are a few more helpful tips to make sure your lingerie purchase is a hit:

• Avoid the same old same old. “If your wife or girlfriend already has 10 chemises, she might not want another,” warns Hostler. “It might be time to try a teddy.”
   
• Know just how daring your significant other is willing to be. “A woman is at her sexiest when she’s feeling sexy,” says Hostler. “Make sure you don’t get her something she’ll feel uncomfortable or awkward in.”
   
• Remember that sexy lingerie doesn’t come in just satin and lace. “If your loved one is a cotton kind of girl, a flirty cotton camisole and pajama set will suit her and still be romantic and sexy,” says Lindkrantz.
   
• Lingerie is most flattering when it is sized correctly, Lindkrantz says. Safe items, if you aren’t sure, include gowns, chemises, and babydolls—clothing that is generous in fabric and not too tight-fitting. When in doubt, choose items that are one size or that can be customized to fit a wide variety of sizes. When really in doubt, it’s better to go smaller than larger. She always can return it if it doesn’t fit, and her ego will thank you.
   
• Well-endowed women like extra support. “If your girlfriend wears a D cup or larger, make sure you get her lingerie with lots of support in the chest,” Hostler says. “Many types of lingerie have underwire in them, but if you’re unsure, just ask. This is a common request, and your sales associate can easily direct you to styles with plenty of support.”
   
• Don’t settle for something you don’t think your sweetheart would like. “There are tons of styles and colors of lingerie,” says Hostler. “Be prepared to spend some time looking, and don’t get discouraged if one store doesn’t have what you’re looking for. All lingerie stores should be able to recommend at least two other places you can try.”

“Most importantly, have fun,” says Lindkrantz. “Sales associates deal with men trying to shop for lingerie every day, and they’re more than happy to work with you. Don’t be intimidated, and don’t hesitate to ask for help.”