Ideally, your parent will recover quickly and return home. Before a parent returns home, however, take time to safety-proof their home by adding grab bars in the bathroom and rails on all stairs. Also, install nonskid rugs. Your goal is to enhance safety without diminishing your parent's sense of independence.

The worst-case scenario, in which your ailing family member requires long-term care, calls for much more decision-making and planning. The most common reasons for long-term care include complications from surgery or illness, stroke, inability to walk, or advanced dementia.

Dementia is a broad term for what was once known as senility or organic brain syndrome. There are several types of dementia that are categorized by cause or manifestation, with Alzheimer's disease being the most well known. Some forms of dementia such as vascular dementia, which is caused by arterial blockage, can be prevented with the use of medication. Alzheimer's disease, however, cannot be prevented or cured, though several drugs are available to slow its progression. 

If you find yourself facing this particular scenario, one of the most important and difficult decisions you may have to make is whether to place your parent in a long-term facility or care for him or her at home. 

No one wants to place a family member in a nursing home or assisted-care facility, but sometimes it's the best choice for both your loved one and your family.

Unfortunately, long-term nursing home placement is extremely expensive, averaging $300 to $500 a day if you pay privately. This is far more than the typical family can afford, so most must apply for Medicaid assistance. (Medicare pays only for the first 120 days in a nursing home, and that's just for rehabilitation.) The Medicaid application process can take up to 90 days, so you should apply the moment the need is realized. 

You can apply for Medicaid by obtaining an application from your local Medicaid office. Make sure to tell the caseworker you're applying for nursing home care because the process is different from Medicaid as a primary source of medical care. The caseworker will give you a list of documents you must provide before the application can be considered. Once the application and the documents are submitted, you will be given a hearing date for your application to be reviewed and accepted or denied.

Documents your parent must provide include statements for checking and savings accounts; titles to vehicles; monthly receipts for utilities and other bills; credit card statements; mortgage information; tax records; loan payments; statements for assets such as certificates of deposit, annuities, stocks, bonds, and other investment plans; deeds to property; and proof of monthly income from Social Security and retirement plans.

Every year, Medicaid establishes a maximum income applicants are allowed to maintain. If your parent receives above that amount, he or she can "spend down" by paying off a loan or mortgage, purchasing a prepaid funeral plan, or giving a gift of up to $5,000 to a family member. Your Medicaid caseworker may provide additional suggestions.

If all the information is submitted properly, and the hearing is favorable, Medicaid will go into effect within 90 days. A Medicaid card will be issued to your loved one, and the nursing home will be paid directly each month, including medication costs and physician visits.

If your parent's medical condition is not too complex, you may be able to care for him or her at home. This may sound ideal, but there are some important questions you must ask yourself first:

• Do you have the space to easily accommodate your disabled parent? In most cases, people in need of long-term care require, at minimum, their own bedroom and bathroom.

• Do you really have the time to care for your ailing family member? Eldercare is often a 24-hour gig with no time for vacations. As a result, it can place a tremendous burden on families who also have children. Adult sitters can alleviate some of the strain, but they can cost $15 or more an hour. If money is an issue, consult your church or local Alzheimer's Association regarding the availability of volunteer sitters. 

• Do you have the strength and fortitude to care for your loved one on the deeply personal level it may require? As your parent's debilitation worsens, you may have to bathe, feed, clothe, and perform simple medical procedures for your ailing parent. Many people find this far more difficult, both physically and emotionally, than they initially anticipated.