Canine Caper
A group of anxious officer candidates finds there’s more than one way to get a leg up on inspection day. Thankfully, their company commander has a sense of humor.

It was a bluebird day, early spring of 1952, in the Harmony Church area of Fort Benning, Ga. OCS Class 14 had fallen in for Saturday inspection, and the troops were in the rest position, awaiting the arrival of the inspecting officer. Officer candidates in the leadership positions were, expectedly, a little anxious, hoping things would go well.

An unanticipated visitor showed up in the form of a curious canine of variegated ancestry. He came around the corner of the mess hall and quietly took in the scene. He had our full attention. The officer candidate company commander was not pleased by this unexpected intrusion and chased the interloper with threatening gestures. The crestfallen cur beat a hasty retreat, tail between his legs.

The company was called to attention as the inspecting officer arrived, and the candidate CO reported, “OCS Class 14 ready for inspections, sir.” The CO was given a clipboard and told to lay aside his rifle and accompany the inspector to take down names and gigs as the officer dictated. The CO dutifully opened the action of his M-1 Garand as he placed it against the wall and followed the inspecting officer.

The first and second platoons completed, it was the third platoon’s turn. As the inspector was starting on the second rank, our furry friend reappeared. He looked about and saw that he was in no imminent danger of banishment.

Spying the CO’s rifle leaning against the wall, the dog ambled over to it, purposefully lifted his leg, and as a true marksman, directed a robust stream directly into the receiver group of the rifle. Those of us who witnessed this act of retribution could not control our mirth, in spite of the presence of the inspecting officer. Fortunately, he spun around in time to observe a last vengeful squirt and immediately understood the cause of our laughter. With a few disdainful scratches of his hind legs, “Regal Rex” trotted off with head held high.

Thankfully, the inspecting officer had a sense of humor. No gigs were given, and he had a good story to tell at the “O” Club that night.

—   Harry J. Mott III is a retired Army brigadier general. He lives in Hempstead, N.Y.